On Pubs and Crawls
A buddy of mine quit drinking. What makes this newsworthy is this is a guy who has so polluted himself over the years we would say the only thing left for him to do is quit drinking and find Jesus. He actually did one. God bless him for it. I wish him the best.
Tapout has this cool t-shirt where they put a red, white, and blue Tapout logo over a copy of the constitution. They need to do more with it. I would totally rock the “All-American” zip-up hoodie.
Friends are coming over for the UFC tonight. I should probably clean the bottles from when they were over two weeks ago because, you know, if I didn’t that would just show low class.
You try to play cool like you just don’t care but soon I’ll be playin in your underwear. I’m like a mage with a magic spell. You come like a dog when I ring your bell. I’ve got the money and I’ve got the fame. You got the hots to ride on my plane. You giving me all that I desire, ’cause down with me I’m taking you higher. I’m the baddest of the bad. I’m the best that you’ve ever had.
The funny thing aboot my friend who quit drinking is that, since he’s started dressing in a blazer and a button down, I’ve taken to calling him “Professor [REDACTED],” which is a reference to Barney from the episode of “The Simpsons” where he quit drinking.
