About John
By John Brodigan
There are really just five things you should know:
1. He has three goals in politics: a) to be a guest on “Hardball with Chris Mathews” just to drop the f-bomb on national television (Joe Scarborough took all the fun out of that), b) be invited to take part in a round table on one of the Sunday morning news shows, and while everyone else is wearing a suit, show up rocking an Affliction T-Shirt, c) be asked to be on “Hannity and Colmes” just so he can turn to his left and say, “Colmes, you ignorant slut.” Apparently I need to set new goals for myself. Suggestions?
2. He has come to the conclusion that it’s impossible to meet a girl on Long Island who a) follows politics, b) swings right, and c) looks like Amanda Carpenter or Mary Katherine Ham. He’s resigned himself to find someone with a decent sense of humor and questionable morals, or at the very least, someone who doesn’t say “US Weekly” is the last thing she read and follows it with a “lol” or “hee hee hee.”
3. Like most bloggers, he still lives in his parent’s basement. It’s not the ideal living situation but the rent’s cheap, he has a fully stocked bar (both alcohol and coffee), and a big TV he refers to as the “Plasmatron 3000″ so he doesn’t complain much.
4. He’s bullish on Mixed Martial Arts, country music, “South Park,” hitting the sauce and a good cigar. He’s bearish on MTV Reality shows, people who spend a thousand dollars to buy hub caps for their Honda Civic, people who can’t take a joke, and liberals who think he only disagrees with them because he’s too stupid to know any better (which seems to be most of them…except for his friend Lee).
5. His grammar su-diddly-ucks. He knows the rules, but sometimes his brain works faster than his fingers do.
The world is a giant country club, and he’s just Rodney Dangerfield trying to play golf.
He can be emailed at jbrodigan@gmail.com.
John Brodigan.com Endorses
(hoping that they start to send him free schtuff)…
 Affliction Clothing |
 Rockstar Energy |
 Tassimo Coffee |
 CAO Cigars |
 The Weekly Standard |
 Crown Royal Whiskey |
Dear John,
Thanks so much for generating this evening’s spit take. I was reading the bio and came to the reference of your appearance on H&C, and how you intended to commemorate the event.
Sloppy Joe, corn and Mike’s Hard Lemonade all over the monitor!
Excellent work!!
Cheers,
Michael
ps. You’re also the latest add to my political bookmark section. I’ll be back for more as often as possible. meo
Get out of your Mom’s basement and run for political office. This will help you with your goals in both steps one and two.
[...] About John [...]
I laughed until I cried about point #2.
I hear you. I hear you loud and clear. But, you can Substitute Long Island with anywhere.
On Point #2: Laugh out lound funny. Sorry but I grabbed the last (perhaps) only woman who fit that description from Stoney Brook and exported her to Alaska.
Hah! I can’t believe I haven’t visited your website until now. This bio cracks my shit up. I’m glad you’re still hilarious even when you’re serious.
Truly shocking to have not been privy to your site until now. Regardless, it’s innovative and I can easily lay claim to having laughed my ass off on at least one more more topics in each category. Your bio is priceless but in all seriousness, I do have to ask..
How is it you haven’t run for public office by now. Granted your being heard..but I truly think it’s time for you to be “heard” if you get my meaning, Mr. Brodigan.
The very best of luck to you..
~ J ~